i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
