so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
