I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
