The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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