I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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