What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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