Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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