we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
