I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
