Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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