I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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