I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
