We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
