College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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