Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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