Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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