Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
