she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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