I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
