ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
