We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
soo... how was my night?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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