He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
