yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Your cock deserves a montage
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
