better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
