I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
