Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
