I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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