Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I am one with the molecules
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize