Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
