So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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