I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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