He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
