And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
