She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
