he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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