we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
