I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
