I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
