Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
