What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
this just has baby written all over it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
