I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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