I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
