I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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