Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
