Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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