"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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