We're facebook friends in real life
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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