I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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