He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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