I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
