kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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